I Need Wisdom

I am blessed and I should be thankful and I should express an attitude of gratitude all of the time. However, many times I am simply frustrated and resentful. You see, the very one who has been a blessing to me is also the one who seems to draw out the worst in me.

Because of all the things I learned from her, I am able to find joy in the simplest of things. Also, I have learned to love. But, I guess I haven't learned enough about love because I struggle with resentment.

About 5 years ago, I met a woman who told me about Jesus. At the time, I was desperate and in search of real answers. I knew that noone could help me and I needed real proof that God cared for me. Without going into any of the details, this woman was a true Ambassador of Christ and my life dramatically changed. Now, 5 years later, this woman's health has suffered greatly; I am now her primary source for care. My life is restricted. I feel trapped.

I still remember when I first met her. I felt like I was Ruth and she was Naomi. I vowed to go where she went and etc. Now, I just heard about this non-profit organization Camfel and I really want to go out and join them. However, I cannot because I am committed. My commitment to her is meaningless if I am bitter.

But this thing didn't just start with me hearing about Camfel. This dear woman of God has been ill for 3 years now. She has been living with me and now our lives have pretty much grown together but I don't know if it is for the best.

I know God hears my cry; so I am asking for a practical solution because our relationship is unhealthy. I need wisdom. I know that the bible says in the book of James that if we lack wisdom to ask God. And that He gives it liberally. Well Father please help me. I don't want to fall away.